Popular in the Netherlands for over 700 years. Can easily be hosed off if working in the garden, and allowed to air dry. When syncopated with foot taps, they form a special kind of dancing.

The clog has a great deal of versatility as a form of footwear, but this summer it has become more than a tourist’s souvenir. No longer fashion roadkill, the clog will have you hop, skipping and toe tapping your way onto the catwalk. In its most perfect form, the clog should look like you just slipped it on in a hot second. It likes to be kept low key. It’s a low maintenance kind of shoe. This said, don’t underestimate its stylish charm. In that hot second it can transform you from average Joe into towering Dutch goddess. Ironically, the Australian brand (famous for their well-loved boots) UGG have had their elves hard at work hammering nails in a new range of slip on clogs. With a pair of dark denim skinny jeans folded up at the bottom, these could quite easily become the new boot, showing that UGG are not a one trick pony.

UGGS and Kisses

But if slip on doesn’t do it for you, have a glance at the clog creations from Creatures of Comfort. These handmade Honey coloured clogs are made with Nubuck leather and shiny silver buckles. Their open toe and ankle strap shows how the clog has been summered up, and they are self-branded as ‘Incredibly Comfortable,’ though there’s only one real way to find out……..

Platform Clogs

…..I say there’s only one way to find out…..

purely in the interest of research I have sampled a few of this season’s clogs, and have to admit that they were incredibly comfortable. But just to let you know, they might take a bit of getting used to. Don’t head straight for the catwalk without a practise session. When I took my first clog stroll I did feel a little bit like I was walking on a rocking horse. It’s good to be aware that the clog is a whole new sensation.

Some people are naturally equipped to deal with heat, others do not have this God-given facility. I am one of the latter. When it gets hot, I am perpetually melting. The only place where I become human once more is beneath a cold shower or in a lovingly air-conditioned building. When humidity strikes, and neither of these two options are available I am doomed.

The only possible solution to this scenario is to combat heat with devilishly nice clothes. Breezy lightwear is essential for the melting months, and though the oppressive warmth might make you feel like you need to look like a troll, the opposite is true. For ladies, what could be more perfect than a floaty summer dress which drapes and flows away like a pretty cool stream in material so light you’ll barely know it’s there? Clothiers Eskell know what it’s like to be hot (double-entendre intended) and it’s likely that this was the inspiration behind their Luna Dress which is green and white in all the right places. Decorative and elasticated, the two summer essentials, you won’t melt with this dress on your team. Promise.

Yes. Summer Dress.

For the man, it’s shortie time. Pop out the pins and slip into a pair of lightweight tailored shorts by Original Penguin. These seersucker shorts won’t leave you looking like a sucker. Combining the trend for denim shorts, the lightness of cargo and the tailoring of Original Penguin, you’ll be chill. And for your own personal reassurance they look great accessorized with a cold beer.

Man Shorts

As Justice have perfectly demonstrated in their video for DANCE, everyone needs at least one or two interchangeable party tees.

There are few prerequisites for this genre of t-shirt, but for an unforgettable party entrance make colour, graphics and relativity your top priorities.

Chunk Clothing could arguably be the specialists in party wear. Their New York Sounds tee in cobalt blue is inspired by the New York subway map re-imagined into a pair of beat transporting headphones, to take you on the ultimate journey. Whatever subway sounds are like, it makes me want to hear them.

The subway never sounded so good

From Your Eyes Lie, there is another form of party tee on offer, this time it’s a Disco Owl illustrated with a dramatic purple and yellow lightning strike. Who would have thought that the owl was a serious party animal.

Disco Owl

If something more simple says PARTY best to you, then Lazy Oaf should be able to provide all your party attire. Their simple colour block tee for men is guaranteed to lift every spirit, but if you don’t need any extra help in the spirit lifting department you can show off in a Martini t-shirt, which comes complete with a Marilyn Monroe upper lip mole. Classy.

Colour Block

With a twist

What is it about the Ray-Ban that makes everyone from the Men in Black to Sarah Jessica Parker slide a pair up their celebrified noses? And aside from the celebridoodles, a pair of Ray-Bans have become indispensable to the non-famous. Take a stroll around your nearest city and you’ll outcount your fingers by the number of Ray-Banners you see protecting the population from the sun’s glare.This summer the shades that have experienced recurring patterns of slump and revival since their original creation in 1952 are experiencing a large scale return. But what is it about these shades that seems so accessible to everyone? Is it that they suit all faces, is it that they are seen as an investment in quality, or is it simply that

in the

“black suit with the black Ray Ban’s on”

you can

“Walk in shadow move in silence
Guard against extra-terrestrial violence”?

Debatable, but this year Ray-Ban has introduced more than colour to the simple black shades, today we have print. Collaborating with some of the world’s best print makers, Ray-Ban have extended from sunglasses to limited edition posters to publicize their new collection.

Alongside the posters, the rare prints collection is nothing if not exciting. These subway map style shades will make sure you always find your way around. Though if your attraction to the original wayfarer can never be lost, why not try a twist on the classic with an insider flower print.

Subway

Secret Flowers

Mary Poppins was the ancient forefather of the practical bag. From her flowery zip-up she could produce anything, lamp stands, kitchen sinks, bottles of vino, probably people. Though if you’ve seen this version of Mary Poppins, perhaps you’d be more frightened of what she might bring out of her bag than before. True, the big bag can be dangerous. I always find that with a small bag I have the neceessities, I have a more wholesome, feng-shui approach to life’s essentials. Purse? – sure, keys? – why of course, phone? – yup, spare socks? – no, no, not really needed. When the big bag comes out however, the shoulder clutter comes too. The spare socks are in, along with a full size wall calendar: why not? Instead of a mobile I’d rather take the yellow pages and some coins for a pay-phone, and then comes the ‘second lining’, the most detrimental component of bag clutter. A swamp of cinema tickets, rail tickets, receipts, free breath mints, hair pins, lip balms, informational leaflets, flyers, copper coins. The list never ends. I have to keep my bags on the small side to ensure that my life remains in focus, but with a summer array of lovely bags for the buying, bigger is always better.

If you’re ready to splash out on some nylon, this ‘She Said He Said’ bag by German label George, Gina & Lucy might be the bag for you. Not only is it available in many colours, it’s name also suggests that it will be the chattiest bag you ever own.

She Said He Said

If you’re looking for something large, but would prefer a more relaxed look then you’re Forestbound. These peeps are big news across the pond. Using exclusively found and salvaged materials, Forestbound create durable, utilitarian bags. Well-worn, historic looking textiles are sourced in their New England homeland and worked carefully into one of a kind shoulder wear and stuff carriers. Hmmm, sold.

Forestbound

For something a little smaller, Brooklyn based Reiter8 are also in the market for remaking their holdalls from used materials. In their case it can only be ex-sail boat sail. Reworked, remade, sailing once more. Just think, your shoulder wear will once have been flying, free in the sea air breeze. Refreshing.

Reiter8

And finally, a classic. The vintage satchel. I recently discovered new Scottish brand Scaramanga when I was searching for a special bag present. This brand make satchels like you’ve never experienced before. Their materials are fairly sourced and nothing is they do is mass produced. When the ‘Large Wide Leather Satchel’ landed on my doorstep I wasn’t disappointed. Obviously I had to use it myself for a couple of weeks to make it more authentically ‘vintage’, which I did like a pro, before giving it to my nearest and dearest. When the sad day came for us to part, it was the worst: like parting with a choco muffin seconds after its touched your lips, before you’ve even taken a bite, so bittersweet. Hopefully we’ll be reunited sooner rather than later though, because sharing is caring.

Scaramanga

What would we do without denim?

I have thought about this many times. According to Professor Wikipedia, denim is: ‘a rugged cotton twill textile, in which the weft passes under two (twi- “double”) or more warp threads.’ Sounds complicated, that’s the science of denim. And as all the best things in life (le macaron, the expression ‘sacrebleu!’ and Gerard Depardieu) denim originates from France.

If the only item of denim in your wardrobe is a pair of jeans, something needs to be done. This season is all over the denim shirt. At first I thought ‘Naaah’ but the denim shirt has a certain power. It can turn the ‘Naaah’ into a ‘Oh actually’ and then a positive ‘Mmmm defs’. With all its persuasive techniques, this variation on a theme is hipster springwear at its finest.

J. Crew show how the ladies can wear a ‘boyfriend’ denim shirt with a nip and tuck for subtle tailoring. In other words, it looks like your wearing boyfriend’s shirt…but better.

Men have the handy advantage of not having to borrow mens clothes, they just wear them. And this pale shirt by denim experts Levis has a perfectly worn-in look, as well as two handy chest pockets for all you storage needs.

But if your looking for something a little bit different, then that might be the Wrangler hooded denim shirt. Combining hood with denim, this shirt has popper buttons and a zip and rolled up sleeves. Everything you could ever want.

These shirts comes with one health warning. Don’t overdenim like Britney and Justin did:

There’s something spesh about mesh. You have to admit it. Mesh clothing has a definite feel for the cringe. It reminds us that fashion doesn’t necessarily conceal. It demonstrates the essential difference between the terms opaque and transparent. And it often shows us much much more than we’ve ever wanted to see.

In its most frightening form, mesh is synonymous with ‘Hi, look straight through me. See the bare skin. See the bare skin everywhere.’ American Apparel’s male department has a perfect example of this: their Nylon Spandex Micro-Mesh T-shirt. Nice colour, not so nice transparency; but doesn’t it look breathable.

When not worn in intense doses, a splash of mesh here and there can be super nice. Mesh sleeves, in this Urban Outfitters sweater, are diluted with dots and a puff sleeve. There’s nothing criminal about showing a bit of arm.

Fred Perry even offers something meshy, so (brave) men can try it too by mixing fabric in a polo.

But mesh is always at its best in a dress. This Conspiracy Dress by Australian outfitter StyleStalker shows that when folded, twisted and ruched, mesh is eye-catching for all the right reasons. The very special fabric takes on different shades and depths of transparency all by itself, and that’s a quality not many materials can boast.

I have summer plans. They involve two wheels, handlebars, a bell, a helmet, and afternoons with the Father. Air on your face never feels as good as when you’re cycling. One time I saw former Prime Minister, THE Tonester Blair while on a summery bike ride. I did wave, but he didn’t wave back sadly. In hindsight, it might have been because I looked less than respectable in my cycling attire, so in an attempt to get back behind the handlebars and brrrringing that bell in a way that would attract the attention of former Prime Ministers, it might be time for a visit to Dark Cycle Clothing.

Representing a comprehensive cross-section of the cycling world, Dark Cycle Clothing’s t-shirts prove, once again, that being on a bike really is for everyone. But as the saying goes ‘Different strokes for different folks’ Dark Cycle similarly suggest ‘Different bikes for different…….types……of species’. It semi works.

Have you ever seen a badger riding a velocipede? Now you have:

What about a fox on a racer? Here you go:

Ever tried to work out how a super tall giraffe would cope on a bike? So have Dark Cycle:

Finally, have you wondered, deep within your heart, who tandem biking is really for? I like this colour.

Admittedly, I’ve not heard about many monasteries in Australia.
I’ve never seen a monk on any Australian soaps.
Monks down under are more into t-shirt design perhaps.
That’s the impression you get from t-shirt designer specialists Das Monk, anyhow.

Das Monk is a graphic clothing label, the creative collaboration of husband and wife team Marc Hendrick and Anna Lunoe. Since 2007, they have been inspired by everything from cassette covers to cubicle wall doodles in their Sydney studio, and have found a happy urban home within Australia’s art and music scene. They rendez-vous artistically with emerging artists worldwide, enjoy wonderful weirdness, and their designs are fresher than home grown tomatoes.

In these designs, diamonds within diamonds produce colourful kaleidoscopic effects, and hexagons are home to fluid explosions of colour and shape, as Das Monk graphically display fusions of colour and shape structures that catch the eye, stay in the mind and rest perfectly against the chest.

But the visual repertoire of Das Monk is neither repetitive or limited. Alongside these structural representations there is playful design and optical illusion. Das Monk design is a world where precisely peeled apples become serpents, pencil sharpening shapes turn into gazelles, and ice-cream is acid. This monk ain’t never been so wild.

Don’t be fooled by the sudden shift to sunshine. It’s April remember the….drip, drip, drop little april showers. A sure fire way to encourage the rain to return happens when Brits slip into their flip-flops before April is out. It might well be warm, your feet might be dying to smell the air, you might have seen the most perfect pair of summer sandals, but don’t do it. Not yet. Good things come to those who wait.

In the meantime, while we tread the precarious path between spring and summer, why not wear something effortlessly classic? In keeping with the trend of summer prep, tie yourself in knots with a pair of ever so fashionable oxfords. This classic style of shoe oozes continental charm. The oxfords can be sported by aging bearded professor and sprightly young professional alike. Most attractively however, they make a beautiful, soft “pat pat” noise on the ground, which is far more appealing that the harsh “flip flop” sound. Despite their refined charisma, oxfords don’t have to be conservative. In this pair of ‘Striped Huipile Jazzie’ oxfords by Osborn Shoes, there’s a hint of summer combined with the laces of higher education.

Jazzie

If you’re looking for a pair of lace ups that say, ‘prep’ without saying ‘I tried consciously to achieve this effect’ you might find your perfect match after a ten minute browse on the Zuriick Collection website. Sometimes I have dreams about their shoes. This pair of ‘Shug Low Black Leather’ style oxfords look like they were made for schmoozing. You can almost feel the softy softness of the leather, and you can rest assured that in a few months these guys will have molded around the contours of your feet. It’s amazing how a picture can speak a thousand words.

soft soft soft

Though the oxfords come in many shapes, sizes, styles and textures, nothing beats simple and classic, right? For a pair of traditional oxfords with spring wearability these New York shoe specialists, with an equally special name, have lovingly made a pair of oxfords which boast no special effects, apart from simple style and magnetic charm. The ‘Chelsea Crew “Holland” Tan’ have spring written (invisibly) all over them.

Simple. Classic.

Sometimes it’s a drag wearing tights, but you’ve got to shimmy them on. Especially if you’ve got legs like mine that are whiter than The White House, Washington D.C., U.S.A. If it ever gets warmish in the summer, passers by need shades otherwise it’s hazardous to look directly at my pins; they could blind you. Sadly, they never ever change shade. If they’d turn sun-kissed I might be less of a walking polar bear, but the sun won’t even kiss them. Poor leggies.

The world of leg-wear has however, suddenly come up trumps. Poor leggies are not poor leggies any more because they just got two new best friends: Les Queues de Sardines and Henry Holland.

With a helping hand from Les Queues de Sardines, leggies become fancy fancy. Slipping into a pair of these can transform them into anything from……

Mermaid…….

to the sky……..

to Lara Croft……..

to scary hairy monsters. Eugh.

Henry Holland might be a little less attention grabbing, but all the same the legs love them. Henry Holland enjoys making tights which are less opaque than the creations by Les Queues de Sardines. With this edge of see-through-ness, the Henry Holland tights will help you to learn your ABC’s in alphabet tights.

And following the new trend for “Mock Socks” – that would be tights pretending to be socks – Henry is your main man. His ‘House Mock Over the Knee Tights’ may be a mouthful, but more importantly they’re a whole legful.

Yes it’s April and it’s still snowing.
It should be warm.
Instead, it’s snowing.

But you know what we should do? Instead of complaining we should roll around in the snow, go sledging, look up at the sky and stick out our tongues to catch cold drops. We should take a leaf out of this t-shirt company’s book and ‘Cheer Up!’ because summer has got to be on its way. Right?

Cheer Up! Clothing started back in 2006 through a collaboration of besties Matt and Ed. They loved to design clothes so they decided to embark on an adventure in the business world. With a brand called ‘Cheer Up!’ who wasn’t going to love them? From t-shirts which remind you of your Momma telling you to ‘Enjoy yourself‘ to scribble shirts which brightly tell everyone who sees you to ‘Cheer Up!’ this company’s ethic is clear. It’s even depicted in their company logo which is an old-school milkshake silhouette. What could make you happier than milkshake? Who knows? I can’t think of anything that’s made me happier than milkshake.

Guess what you should do...

Their milkshake logo is displayed with pride of place in this simple fitted polo shirt, which is my favourite item from their range. It’s polo-tastic. Back to milkshakes now; this reddish colour reminds me of the cherry on top of milkshakes, though interestingly enough I’ve never had one of these in real life. Where can you get a good milkshake with a cherry on a stalk on the top? Hmm, only in the films I think.

Spot the milkshake

If you find yourself a loose end in LA, but have a cup, some ink, and a brush, then you should make your way to the Sumi Ink Club. Sumi Ink Club is a drawing collection based in LA, established in 2005 by Sarah Anderson and Luke Fischbeck. Their favourite style of drawing is topsy-turvy, detailed and collaborative: on paper using ink. These group drawings are meant to open and fortify social interactions that ‘bleed into everyday life’, welcoming ‘all ages, all humans, all styles’. And now, they’ve expanded from using ink on paper, to print on t-shirts.

Sumi Ink Club’s beautiful designs have been transferred onto the tee, and they are striking to say the least. The design detail is almost on a parallel with an optical illusion – it looks kinetic, but it isn’t, and mexican waves of changing colour on these shirts will definitely get you noticed. When you’re wearing your shades and stalking down the street people will stop you to say ‘wow’. All you will have to say in return is: ‘Sumi’, and maybe do the peace sign with your fingers.

for him

for her

Your look will be made complete with this hot bag they’ve added to the line. The perfect reusable shopping bag. Eco, and chic-o. I like it, lots.

Available here.

Being a faker is underrated in my opinion. I love faking (not important stuff you know, but the little things). Like when you’re having a chit-chat conversation with your hairdresser and she mishears you: ‘Really? You’re a brain surgeon?!!’. There’s the brief pause where I scan the room, making sure there’s no one I know there, contemplate telling her what I really do, but then decide that I could fake it. ‘Yeah, that’s right. Brain surgeon’. My friend once faked to her boyfriend, for a whole year, that she only ate grapes if they were peeled. Why? She doesn’t know, and neither do I, it was just one of those things; one of those things that you fake. Then there’s the big need for fakies when you’re in an uncomfortable social situation being bombarded with questions about obscure musicians. ‘Do you like the American Hound-dog Slobber Dobbers? Not heard of them? What about LollopopBingoDop? Not heard of them either?!! Crunk Rhyme Spitters?’ Feeling alienated from the group you fake it. You tactitly admit that yes, you have heard of the Crunk Rhyme Spitters, you love their stuff, and to make the fake more convincing, you might even hum a tune and pretend to dance to an imaginary rhythm. Faking isn’t lying, it’s a form of art.

The art form of faking extends to everyone’s favourite realm; fashion. These fakers come out with all their creative juices flowing. They love to masquerade one thing as something else.

Take the humble silk scarf and the polaroid picture. Could these guys interchange, could they fake it? Philippe Roucou, a french bag designer, has proved to the world that they can. His limited edition polaroid scarves beautifully merge the two for a top class fake, as the polaroid picture becomes a scarf. Just don’t shake it, because motion during development is bad for the image.

Another potential for fake, comes in the contrast between the sock and the sneaker. Are there ever times when socks can be sneakers? Have you ever seen anyone walking around in their naked socks, outdoors? I have, but then I’ve seen many things that would blow your mind. Among them, are these hi-top sneaker socks. They are the converse of the sock world. Pull them up high, wear them with heels, and you too can fake it.

Think Louis Vuitton can fake it? Well, I know there are a lot of Louis Vuitton fakers out there, but rest assured, this one is the real deal. One day, Louis was taking out the garbage and was struck by a wonderful prospect. Could garbage bags fake it as handbags, and more importantly, would people actually fall for it? Employing Marc Jacobs to do some sketches, he made the ultimate fake bag, then he decided it was worth $1,960, proving that money can buy garbage. Though I have to admit, they look practical and waterproof.

The final in this sequence of fakers is for all those brides-to-be. The fake components are the wedding dress and the wedding cake. My two favourite aspects of every wedding. But could the dress fake it as cake, or could cake fake it as dress? Lukka Sigurdardottir shows your how to snip the cost of your wedding in half with the aid of a simple fake. This dress would make sure the bride is the centre of attention as guests flock around to coo at her beauty and dig their forks in from waist down. What a schweeeeet fake.

The 1970s. So much to love.

Anita Ward bellringing.
The original and best platform shoe.
Sideburns.
Cinema horror classics Don’t Look Now and The Wicker Man.
Everyone dancing like this…….

And now you can relive all the golden days with a click of the finger, as you virtually surf your way back in time to Custard Heart’s Vintage Shop.

The down sides to visiting vintage shops online are that the sensory element is wholly missing. You don’t get that musty smell of the past, the mothballs, the crammed rails, the very high possibility of finding something truly horrific that you can hold up against yourself and laugh out loud at, however, you do get ease of browsing and convenience.

To recreate the 1970s in its truest sense, put on the headphones, crank up the Anita Ward, light the lava lamp and take a look at these beauties…

Being a commited fan of the chunky, vomit-esque patterned knit these cardigans do everything for me. This cream and blue specimen is my idea of heaven, even if the climate is tropical. I’d get so many compliments from my Grandmother.

Eye Cardy

Accessorized with this tapestry, golden chained, clippy handbag, I’d never have to leave the house without my Rubik’s cube.

Victorian meets Seventies Glam

And as the day turns into night, it’s time to pull out those classic disco poses with a shimmy-riffic sparkle top. In the Seventies, you couldn’t not dance.

The reflection from the disco ball will be blinding

Sorry. I need to go, I need to dance.