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Imaginary French Intellectual

By 24th February 2011April 11th, 2017No Comments

Can you believe that it’s approaching mid-year already? Maybe ‘mid-year’ is taking it a bit too far, but still, it’s almost March – and I’m still using each Monday morning to re-start my New Year resolutions. Back in December I promised to come to you with some exciting news in 2011, and here I am with it, and more importantly, an imaginary outfit that fits perfectly. I passed a big exam just before Christmas which means that I will (fingers, legs, eyes, ears crossed) be Dr. Kate of literature in the not too distant future. The exam went very well thanks, it was an oral one, but I’m sure I would have made an altogether more intimidating impression if I had worn the above outfit instead of the ‘plain as those little fairy cakes that have no icing on top’ black top, black trousers, black boots, and facial expression of fear outfit I opted for.

This outfit cries ‘French Intellectual’ or ‘let’s get cafe au lait and talk about philosophy’. It’s something I will never be as I am neither French nor intellectual, but it’s imaginary remember, plus one day, peut-ĂȘtre. Now, as every wise wannabe French Intellectual knows, you gotta keep them tones muted with greys, blacks and browns. An antique looking time piece is essential, as is a 1920s style hat which sweeps across the side of your face and makes you look impressively incognito. Their glasses are horn rimmed like Woody Allen’s, this achieves an instant intellectual status quick fix – the thicker/wider the frame the bigger the brain, trufact.*

*not strictly true

The French Intellectual has a deep leather satchel to carry around all their fountain pens and drags a stack of musty books behind them like an old horse. Everyone knows that under the French Intellectual’s thick, wise looking sweater dress is nice Elle MacPherson lingerie; even intellectuals have to be comfortable. And on her French, intellectual looking finger is a big, black, smoky diamond.

If only I’d been born in Paris…

Come over HERE for details about the items above